I realized something today – I work in a bit of a circus.

On one side you have the masterful show hosts – that’s us, your servers, pandering to your every need and dealing with tremendous pressure and challenges each day as we work our little socks off to provide you with a customer service of the utmost caliber (most of the time).

On the other side, however, are the crazy clowns that we have to deal with on a daily basis; such wild and untamed creatures that we handle with courage and strength and determination, no matter how outrageous or complicated your order may be, no matter how busy it is and no matter how much abuse we receive…

Clowns; a word that simultaneously stimulates feelings of delight and terror.

There’s a reason they generally stay closed off in a separate room to the rest of the world; I feel our boss is quite kind and compassionate (and maybe a bit crazy) in allowing some of ours to be in the public eye every Sunday.

Allow me to introduce you to a few of them:

The pack leader, the Alpha male so-to-speak, tends to fall asleep whenever he sits down, his sonorous snores rumbling through the establishment like the engine of a huge locomotive.  It’s very deceptive, for you could imagine in these moments that he’s a gentle, slumbering harmless old soul.

But when he’s awake, tread carefully, for a single mention of certain danger words (eg ‘gluten-free’ or ‘vegan’) can set his blood boiling and his fury raging and when the beast within explodes, you want to be far far away.  Ideally in another country.

The rest of the time, he’s likely to have you laughing til you cry.  Ah yes, the Master Ringleader of Clowns.

Then there’s the clown that can’t stop making dirty jokes, which, if they weren’t so damn funny, would probably be a bit worrying.  But hey, he’s a clown, clowns are meant to push the boundaries on things and create a bit of the shock factor.  Most days he comes into work with more energy than the rest of us combined, bouncing off the kitchen walls like a jack russell on speed.  And yes, he does tend to nip at your ankles if you’re not careful.

The rest of the clowns are a little less eccentric; there’s the nutter who spends most of his weekly wages on lottery tickets (and tends to win so maybe he’s onto something there), the super-tall quiet dude whose head is so far away I don’t even know what colour eyes he has, the moody one who loves swearing (even when he’s happy) and the one slightly normal one out of the entire bunch who brings a breath of fresh air to the place (bless you oh normal one!).

In amongst these animals, are two sweet little princesses; two sweet ladies, roughing it up with those crazy hyenas.

Ha!  Don’t be fooled by their sweet and innocent exterior, they’re lionesses in disguise, playing along to their leader’s commands as long as it suits but ready to pounce when you least expect it.

There are ways to manage these creatures of course, the easiest one being to bring steady supplies of coffee and lemonade; other than that, we just have to brave the storm day in, day out, hoping we emerge from it alive and well.

So my friends, that’s my circus for you and like any circus, it’s all a bit mad and silly but one thing’s for sure: working with that bunch, there’s never a dull moment!

Ciao darlings!

Lizzie xxxx