There are so many amazing things in my life that I can be grateful for it would take weeks to list them. Take any one of them away and I know I would be devastated. I am an extremely fortunate human being and yet still, my day-to-day life recently has been leaving me feeling empty and dull inside, sliding down a muddy slope of despondency. Why? Because despite there being many good things in my life, I don’t get to spend a lot of time doing the things I really love, the things that truly satisfy my soul.

This would be enough to deal with – feeling sad and unhappy, recognizing the reason and trying to figure out how to change it. But this unpleasant yet very normal feeling was being compounded by the fact that I had decided I shouldn’t be actually be feeling it in the first place. And why is that? Well because of how shit life is for some people around the world.

Too many broken souls on our planet would give anything to have even a quarter of what I have. All those refugees who have lost their entire livelihoods. All those below the poverty line who have no other means of survival than to slog through each and every day just to make sure they and their family can eat. It sure seems weird and selfish to feel sad simply because your current life isn’t the one you dream of. What right do I have to be down in the dumps…

So there was the battle – a strict, harsh inner voice dismissing my genuine sadness which was actually trying to point me in the direction of my dreams and a more fulfilling, purposeful life. My inner critic made me even more miserable than I already was because it also made me feel ridiculously guilty and ashamed and had me trying to squash the little flame of passion by stomping on it with my boot. And doing that hurt even more than the sad wishful yearning did.

There are times many of us get so caught up in impatience, boredom, sadness or frustration that a particular mindset arises:

‘Life is so awful’

Comparing examples like the ones I mentioned earlier with our own scenarios will usually show us that this is of course utter nonsense. At these moments we need to stop and make out a whole page of things to be grateful for, pausing over each one to realize just how awesome it is and how awful life actually would be if we lost it (our parents/ partner/ home/ health/ job…). It’s a good antidote to the ‘poor me’ syndrome many of us pampered Westerners regularly go through.

However, just because you’re appreciating the good in your life does not mean that you have to want the crappy job you’re stuck in – does it?! You’re entitled to wish for something more, to dream of a different life filled with more of the things you love. There should be no guilt in this. For sure, you need to find some level of acceptance until things change, but you do not need to guilt yourself into feeling bad about not wanting it. There is no obligation to want things to be the way they are if they’re not quite right for you.

At the end of the day, it’s all about balance because at the end of the day it’s always all about balance. The Buddha realized this for us all – neither indulgence in desires nor complete negation of them results in happiness and inner peace. The middle path is the one to take.

So I guess my conclusion is find a way to practice gratitude daily but at the same time allow yourself to not love your life if it really isn’t the one you wish to have. Most of the time, you may still have to live it, at least temporarily but meanwhile, do everything in your power to start moving towards the life you do wish for and hopefully, with some work on your part and a lot of good fortune, you will find a way to live the life you love!