Welcome and congratulations on getting to read my first ever blog!  I’m so excited I could pee in my pants even though as I write this nobody else even knows it exists… the words “ever so slightly carried-away” come to mind.  But then I think “hey it’s your first real blog – real!  People all over the world could, technically speaking, if they ever find it, actually read this!  WAHOO!”  So excitement for the little things in life is the theme of the day!  And why not celebrate this momentous (teen tiny) occasion?  For me it’s fantastic!

Instead of rambling on and on in my first post about how it’s taken me thirty-two years of procrastination and self-doubt followed by a large dose of one-on-one therapy to reach the point of finally writing and putting my work out there for all to see (boooooring!) instead of all that, I’m going to share a poem I wrote recently about the intricate relationship I have with this fine art of tapping the keys of my laptop.  I hope you enjoy it and I would love people to post comments.  Though if you can, be kind.  (I’m too broke for any more therapy…)

The Romance with Writing

I want to write – I want to be a writer,
to live that romantic life
of hours spent pouring over pages,
words and worlds spilling forth,
moments of hair-tugging frustration at the
absence of inspiration.
Floating scarily in the abyss of not knowing
what to write next…
I want to spend hours in coffee shops,
a mug of rich, aromatic, blackness
steaming next to my hand;
a plate of left-over crumbs abandoned to the side;
to be nestled amongst fellow magic seekers,
sipping their own hot brews
alone or in company,
funky tribal jazz humming softly in the background,
snippets of strangers’ conversations coming my way
like feathers blowing on the breeze:
“I’m not travelling light anyway…”
“I’m awful at it…”
“Is that his name? The bearded fellow?”
“It’s quite easy when I’m on my own…”
This. This is what I want.
This is what I crave, desire, yearn, strive for…
It’s just at my fingertips, that close
and just out of reach.
Just a hungry, craving, straining heartbeat away.
I’m seeking a dream, an intangible reality
and it’s already mine!
Have I gone mad? Perhaps.
As one unknowable, fellow magic-seeker said
“It’s quite easy when I’m on my own!”

love,

Ellie