I don’t know why I abandoned my daily scribbles last year.

I wrote every single day for four months. I was building up a following and a great portfolio of content, some of it entertaining and engaging, some of it ‘meh’. But that’s what happens when you create regularly. And it was actually good for me.

(That must be why I stopped!)

No, I stopped because I went through a rough patch where I felt like crap, riddled with anxiety and deep in the blues. I’m still not sure why I felt like that but it went on for months and, as is my usual habit, I hid away, retreating into my shell just like my Cancerian Sun sign.

It’s a funny thing how we each cope with stress. Mine is inevitably to retreat from the world, never to share what’s going on publicly, hiding away my vulnerability as much as possible until I feel strong enough (or have rebuilt my frail heart-armour) to return to my human herd.

Last year, when I did this, I reached a point of such unhappiness I remember pleading with the Universe over and over one day, tears and snot running down my face to “Please help me. Please help me. Please help me.”

I didn’t know what was wrong. I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t feel able to ask anyone around me for support or to lend a friendly ear, as I know they would have instantly provided.

As usual, I was sticking it out alone, until, when it got too much, I made the above request. Repeatedly.

It’s a funny thing, when you wish for something, as I did that day with all my heart. For as the old cliche goes:

Be careful what you wish for

A couple weeks later, I got pregnant.

I now have a gorgeous six month old son. My life along with my sense of purpose and direction have been completely transformed, for the better.

I still experience bumps and struggles, in fact I have suffered more intense anxiety than I ever knew possible in the months since birthing this tiny beautiful human.

But my life is better today than I could have ever imagined. And that place I visited inside that I needed help with has been dramatically changed by my becoming a Mum.

So there you have it. I fell off the radar for a while. But I think I’m back now, my little boy permitting.

And given how much of my time he takes up, to say nothing of the work I’m still doing for my husband’s business, well… they’ll still be called daily scribbles, but we might have to be a little loose with the term “daily”. Hashtag Momlife.

Ciao darlings!

Liz