I came home from work this evening and had a cup of tea, and as I relaxed over Instagram, sipping on the hot rooi bos brew, boy oh boy did I crave something sweet.

My head swirled with thoughts of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk Chocolate, sweet custard creams, crunchy caramel slices, rich soft brownies…

The devil on my shoulder kept hissing, “Grab a Club Milk from the fridge Liz!  One isn’t going to hurt!”

Of course one isn’t going to hurt but it’s the five that follow I’m concerned about and they’re as inevitable as the avalanche that ensues when a loud BANG reverberates around snowy mountains.

Ooh it would have been heavenly to rip open the red and yellow foil and indulge in the delicious sweetness of milk-chocolate-covered biscuit.

But I thought for a moment before I dove in.  I considered how much I really don’t want to be controlled by these cravings, no matter how unpleasant it is trying to resist them.

And I remembered how it feels to give in and eat the ‘treat’.  There is a very brief moment of utter delight as the sweet taste banishes away the emptiness of longing and the tension from the craving finally abates.

But after that split-second of pleasure you realize the emptiness hasn’t gone anywhere.  It’s still lurking around like a starving beast that can never be full.

So you take another bite, and another one and each one temporarily relieves you but never actually succeeds in satisfying you.

This dears, is why we can eat an entire packet of biscuits or gorge on a box of Celebrations until we’re actually physically ill, utterly repulsed by both sugar and ourselves.

We’re trying to feed a creature so ravenous and bottomless we won’t ever even reach the bottom, never mind fill it up.

Because I don’t enjoy feeling either sick in my stomach or full of self-loathing, I’m attempting the difficult task of saying no to the pestering beast and then withstanding the wild fury and snarling moans of physical craving.

It’s incredibly difficult at times and today was properly dodgy – a hair’s-width to the other side and I’d have scoffed half the chocolate in the fridge.  Sometimes I think it’s a hint of luck that keeps us on the right side more than our own decisions or willpower.

Then again, willpower does have a lot to do with it and, just like hitting the gym and lifting weights consistently leads to bigger, stronger muscles, saying no on a daily basis to these afternoon cravings is cultivating an inner feeling of strength and power.

It also really helps to know that tomorrow morning if I fancy some biscuits with my coffee or a freshly baked croissant or a scone and jam, I can go ahead and enjoy them.

Because they’ll be skillfully balanced by the knowledge that I have a handle on my sweet-tooth at last; he no longer runs the whole show, just the morning segment and after that I’m in charge.

And that in itself is nearly as sweet as the rich buttery pain au chocolat that I am most definitely eating for breakfast tomorrow.

The ‘beast’ is still strong, but give me time dears, just give me time.

Ciao darlings!

Lizzie xxxx