Sometimes we really need to consider the other side of things, the other’s point of view.

If we get caught up in our usual automatic reflexes, we’ll only understand things from that limited perspective and then wonder why other people sometimes get annoyed or upset at us.

I sometimes find it hard often to look after my husband when he’s not well.  He gets a little clingy and my instant reaction is to want to shake him off and erect a force-field of ‘my personal space’ all around me.

It happened today, when we got home in the evening and he went to bed with a nasty headache,a tension-related one that pops up from time to time and can get very painful.  For some reason, the moment he needed me all I wanted to do was RUN!

But today I placed myself in Alex’s shoes for a change; I considered the times I’ve been sick when all I wanted was someone to be there for me; I considered how ill I was when I had the abscess in my tooth last October, full of pain, weak and vulnerable; I considered how any time I’m sick, Alex always always looks after me with such tenderness and kindness, willing to do absolutely anything for me; I considered how perhaps all he needed was fifteen minutes of my time massaging his neck and sitting with him until the medicine kicked in and the pain eased off.

But most of all, I considered how often I tell this person that I love him.

And if I really do love him as much as I’m always saying I do… then isn’t this what it’s all about?  Not bunches of flowers or presents or coffees out (though those things are always sweet) but actually giving the person you adore your time and energy when they most need it?

That’s what love really is.  That’s what I realized today when I considered things from Alex’s perspective instead of my own misguided ideas.

Talk is cheap – anyone can say “I love you”.

But the one who gives up their time for you, listens and helps you, is always there when you need them, this is the one who is actually expressing their love for you.

It’s a slightly different language to the three spoken words, but it’s a language that never lies.

As soon as I fully understood this, my time looking after him transformed into an act of gratitude to be able to give back all the love and care he’s always given me and to show him how much he really does mean to me.  And then I didn’t wan to run anymore.

Ciao darlings!

Lizzie xxxx