Willpower is a complex creature; to get the most out of her we really need to learn how to manage her with kindness and respect.

This is one of my biggest lessons from the very beginning of doing a regular, consistent, 6-days-a-week morning practice.  I love Ashtanga yoga, I love the feeling of stretching and strengthening my body, I love the energy that the powerful Ujyayi (victorious!) breathing creates and above all, I LOVE lying down on the mat after a vigorous, challenging practice and relaxing in Savasana (aptly called Corpse Pose) until my body feels ready to melt into the floor.

But – BUT – despite all of the above and despite knowing in my head that I’ll feel better if I practice, every morning that I wake up and contemplate getting on my mat, there’s a part of me that recoils from the thought of all that work and effort and begs and beseeches me to let her go back to sleep instead, or go straight to breakfast and have a delicious cappuccino and croissant…

Every.  Single.  Morning.  Now how do you manage that Lazy Lolly (a pet name I’ve come up with for my own one) in the best way possible?  Sure, you could turn into a military sergeant and beat her into submission, attacking your yoga with the fanaticism and zeal of boot-camp (although there’s a whole thing in yoga call “Ahimsa” or non-violence so that wouldn’t technically be in keeping with the ancient tradition).

But I’ve found this method only ever works temporarily.  The day comes when even yelling and cracking the whip no longer motivates her anymore and then she wins and I roll over in bed and sleep in late, resulting in a groggy, grumpy morning because, hey, I didn’t do my yoga!

So is there any way to get around her?  Well I think I’ve found one that works but – another big BUT – it only works because in a way, I started to compromise a little bit with this Lazy Lolly… I decided that really, what was best for all of us, was simply that I got on my mat as many days out of those six as possible, not that I necessarily did hours and hours of asana, pranayama and meditation.

I suggested to her that if I could get on my mat and manage three sun salutations, just three, and if she still desperately wanted out after them, then I could call it quits and go back to bed or have breakfast or whatever took our fancy.  Three sun salutations was all I had to do, approximately five minutes of yoga.

Word to the wise; my Lazy Lolly is no idiot.  I had tried this trick with her before, but she knew full well that it was a ruse, a sneaky lie and that the second I got on the mat I was going to go full-pelt for forty minutes or more if possible.  She was having none of it.  And so, unfortunately, neither was I.

But this time round, when I decided to give the morning routine a real go, I realized I had to aim lower in order to get her on board.  So I genuinely and sincerely promised her that three sun salutations was enough if that was all we could manage.  And she thought carefully, screwed up her face in resignation and reluctantly agreed that this was a fair deal and probably manageable sooooo… ok.

In the nearly three months since then, 95% of the time, I have gone far beyond those three sun salutations, through numerous standing poses and at this stage I’m up to thirty five minutes of yoga daily.  Not five, thirty-five.  And Lazy Lolly hasn’t batted an eye-lid.  Because once I’m on the mat, once I’ve breathed my way through those first few “surya namaskars” there’s an energy and a flow that usually carries me on much further.  And the regular practice has meant that it’s even easier to keep going, even on the days when Lolly might be complaining, often in the first five to ten minutes, when she’s suddenly thinking this is too hard, I’m too tired, let’s go back to sleep…. I just coax her to do a little bit more, one more pose, one more breath and then very often, like a kid distracted from crying by toys, that part of me is no longer bothering me and I find I can do far more than I’d expected.

This is how after three years of patchy, inconsistent Ashtanga yoga, I have managed to successfully practice six days a week steadily, alone, the same sequence every morning.  I had to give myself and Miss Lolly the space and most importantly the permission to do only as much as felt manageable beforehand.

After all, the most important thing was simply to get on the mat at all costs, day in, day out, whether I wanted to or not, whether I was tired or sore, happy or sad, wired or calm…. just get on the mat.  Just breathe, look at your drishtis (focus points), try try try to engage mula bandha and uddiyana bandha (the energy locks) and do your five minutes of sun salutations.  Because five minutes will always always be better than none.

It took a very delicate balance of softness and understanding with that part of me (agreeing that I really, honestly, truly would finish up after just the three sun salutations if that’s what was necessary) and some real tough love (telling her I know you don’t want to do it right now, but just go snuggle up in bed by yourself for a little bit and I’ll be done in no time!).  It’s a tight-rope act I still walk, every single day.

But it’s getting easier.  After a while, the beginnings of a habit start to creep in which eases the effort of getting started.  And there’s a knowing inside after so many weeks that doing even twenty to thirty minutes isn’t actually so hard… That being said, Miss Lolly hasn’t given up the idea that really this whole yoga malarkey is a LOT of work and sleeping in bed is a LOT easier…

Before I finish up this piece there’s one thing I’d like to add:

Learning to manage this part of me that always wants to take the easy way in life has gifted me with something incredible (a whopping bonus to all the other benefits of practicing regularly).  I seem to have developed this inner muscle of strength and willpower by learning to say a gentle but firm “No” to her, on a daily basis.  She used to be in charge most of the time, she used to run the show.  But these days, there’s a calm and confident adult managing her childlike whims and caprices, she’s no longer boss.  Which means that when I want to do something that’s good for me that she doesn’t like, I usually can. In a sense – I’ve empowered myself through my daily efforts.

Now folks, all this after only two months???  Tell me, what other goodies and gifts might we reap after many years of practice?!  Here’s hoping I can appease and handle Miss Lolly long enough to find out.  And right now, it’s about time she got her cappuccino and croissant.  I would love to persuade her to go for a healthy green juice, but baby steps for now!  And besides, I think she’s earned it at this stage.

As they say in India, Om Shanti Shanti Shanti!  Peace and blessings in all your spiritual journeys.

Love,

Ellie

p.s. for anyone interested in more about developing willpower, here’s a link to a great video on ted talks by Kelly McGonigal, author of the book “The Willpower Instinct”